“𝗪𝗛𝗬 𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗬?”

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This is the question that society often asks victims of domestic abuse.

Sometimes, it’s genuine exploration into the reasons many victims feel compelled to continue living with abuse.

However, quite often it's a judgment on the victim.

The real, unspoken question that’s being asked is, “𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮… 𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞𝙛 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙖𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨"?

The truth is that society’s understanding of domestic abuse is so limited that, in general, we answer this question by putting ourselves in the situation and deciding ( in the healthy mental and physical state that we’re in ) that we would never put up with sort of behaviour, and that we would be out the door at the first sign of abuse.

But it’s rarely that simple. 𝙒𝙝𝙮?

Well, because leaving is a process. It’s difficult to walk out of a life and straight into another without some kind of planning and without there being any residual affect and overlap.

In addition, in an abusive relationship, as with any relationship, there is a dynamic – i.e., the pattern of interaction and communication between a couple, and in an abusive relationship, that dynamic often involves negative behaviours that enforce the submission of one person to the other person’s will.

There are different dynamics found in relationships of domestic abuse and violence as to why a victim finds it hard to leave such as the use of Coercion & Threats, Intimidation, Emotional Abuse, Isolation, Minimising-denying and blaming, Using Children & Pets, Using privileges, and Economic Abuse.

DJN

Fendo UK